Posts Tagged ‘walk’

Digging for Buried Bagel

July 22, 2011

I have to do something to impress Cassie.  She’s started walking her Alpha Mom around my town, but even though our paths cross all the time, she won’t give me the time of day!  Maybe if I gave her something really exceptional, she would realize that our relationship is simply meant to be.

Once, after I had been to the P-A-R-K with Alpha Dad, we stopped for bagels before heading home.  Bagels are a personal favorite of mine, especially when they have cream cheese on them.  (Shh!  Don’t tell Alpha Mom!)   Unfortunately, it’s a rare occasion when someone gives me a bagel.  Apparently bagels are classified as “People Food,” a term that my family uses to describe food that they don’t think dogs will like.  But they’ve got it wrong– I love People Food!  I wish my family understood that they don’t have to go through the trouble of procuring “Dog Food” for me, because I would be perfectly happy on a diet of People Food.  Ah well, life is tough.

Anyways, back to my recollections.  That day, Alpha Dad got a bagel just for me.  It was a little harder than a regular bagel, and a little smaller, too.  Plus, it smelled suspiciously like kibble.  But it was shaped like a bagel, and I figured, Hey, good enough, my family is finally coming around.  I figured I would put the bagel somewhere special, because after all, it’s not often that a hound gets the good stuff.  So I dug up a patch of grass in a cozy corner by the fence, buried my bagel, and kicked some dirt on top of it to keep it safe.

Apparently I did too good of a job hiding my treasure.  Now I’m in my backyard trying to remember where I left the tasty snack.  Oh Cassie, if only you could see how hard I’m trying.  I dig up a couple of plants, sniff around the edge of the driveway, and–

Ohmygosh I smell it, that’s it, oh gee, to the left, no, to the right, no, forward, I’m on the scent!  Oh Cassie, Cassie, Cassie I’ve got it it’s over here somewhere yes that’s the corner ahhhh the excitement is killing me!  Under the plant, under the grass, dig Woody dig dig dig!  Oh boy ohboyohboy this is it!  Yesssssss!

When Cassie sees this treasure, she won’t be able to resist.

When It’s Love, Run, don’t W-A-L-K.

July 15, 2011

I saw her last night!  And it wasn’t just a dream, it was real!!  I was walking with my Alpha Parents, when all of a sudden I caught a glimpse of a pretty young basset hound across the street.  I pulled at my leash to get a closer look, and sure enough, it was Cassie!  I bounded across the street, dragging Alpha Dad behind me, and ran up to sniff her shiny, brown fur.

“Woof!”  I said, Hi, it’s Woody, remember me?

Cassie sniffed me cautiously, and then turned away and proceeded down the street with her Alpha Mom.

“Woof!” I tried again, Wait!  Come back!  I thought we were friends!

Cassie’s Alpha Mom shot a disgusted look in my direction as my Alpha Dad apologized profusely for my “bad behavior.”

It’s rough being a basset hound.  I thought humans were really into the whole “true love at first sight” idea, but I guess they don’t realize that applies to their four-pawed companions.

But this is Sheriff Bluepaw talking, the Assistant Protector of Bagels Everywhere.  I don’t give up that easily.  I’m going to prove my love to Cassie, and I’m not going to let any two-paw nonsense get in my way.

Alpha Dad’s Day

June 19, 2011

Why does a hound always have to do everything?  Some families remember Alpha Dad Day and make plans to go out to eat or see a movie, but my family is disorganized, which means the entertainment for the day is taking me for a W-A-L-K.  Don’t get me wrong, W-A-L-K’s are the best!  I insist that Alpha Dad take me every night, and if he’s tired I just pout and spill my food everywhere until he realizes who’s boss.  But no hound wants to wake up early on Sunday morning, especially after he had to stay up all night because Sister Martian was having a party.  Those crazy kids were running around and shouting and singing for three whole hours!  I did manage to snatch a pulled pork sandwich, though, and that made up for some of the disturbance.  I had counted on getting to sleep in this morning, but woe is the strenuous life of a basset hound.

Anyways, I’m finally home from a long, hot W-A-L-K and you won’t believe what the plan is for the rest of the day!  Watching the U.S.-Jamaica soccer game with the sound on!  I agree with Alpha Mom on this one– soccer games are best with the sound off.  But as Alpha Mom tried to explain to me, on Alpha Dad Day we have to tolerate the crazy pastimes of our Alpha Dads.  So I’m trying to ignore the obnoxious vavuvalawawas in order to catch some shut-eye under the coffee table.

There should be a day when my whole family celebrates me.  We could call it “Basset’s Day.”  I would even settle for “Woody’s Day.”  There would be a strict no-noise policy, everyone would sleep until 5 p.m., and then I would go for a brisk walk, have a whole steak to myself, and fall asleep.  Heavenly!

In the mean time, though, I’ll have to try to get into the spirit of Alpha Dad’s Day.  I suppose I can sleep in for the rest of the week to make up for the great inconvenience of the game.  And I just know he’s going to love my present: I’ve taken it upon myself to help him with his gardening!

Hounds of All Shapes and Sizes

May 16, 2010

Earlier today, Alpha Dad took me for a short walk.  I had been complaining all morning about the injustice of his not taking me to the P-A-R-K, and I suppose he felt guilty when he agreed to take me around the block.

I have lots of doggie friends who live near my house.  Okay, they aren’t all my friends.  Like the german shepherd who thinks she is so much more intelligent than the rest of us (and probably is), and the poodle who barks and yips and scares me half to death every time I walk past.  And she always smells like peaches ‘n cream.

I always look forward to seeing my friends, the golden retrievers.  I’m not sure what sort of golden I prefer- the puppies because they’re more my size, or the adults because they don’t jump all over me.  Alpha Dad always says that golden retrievers are the nicest dogs at the P-A-R-K.  Clearly, he is not taking basset hounds into account.

My perspective on beagles is neutral.  They are loud and obnoxious, and they aren’t as handsome as basset hounds.  They’re inferior knock-offs of distinguished hounds like myself.  That being said, I’ve heard that when others copy you it’s best to take it as a complement.  I suppose that since there are so many beagles running around town, they must think quite highly of me.

W-A-L-K Expertise

March 24, 2010

Okay, so as I mentioned the other day, Alpha Dad thinks he’s really clever for spelling words that he doesn’t want me to hear.  I’ll admit, when he started calling the Park “P-A-R-K” and referring to the walk as “W-A-L-K,” I was pretty confused.  But Basset Hounds are scholarly (even though we don’t look it), so now I know to look forward to my W-A-L-K every evening.

When I’m happy to be going on a W-A-L-K, I take off down the sidewalk at a trot.  This is just a little faster than a walk.

Sometimes, I get really really excited about going on a W-A-L-K!  Like the summer when there were cicadas everywhere and life was like an endless snacktime.  Or maybe there’s a wabbit in the neighbor’s yard (look out wabbits, here I come!)  For this reason, I like to call my second-fastest speed rabbit run.

You might think that Basset Hounds are always slow and lazy, but the truth is that we’re only slow and lazy when we want to be… which means we’re almost always slow and lazy.  But on rare occasions (like when I smell a pretty Lady Hound across the street), I like to show off a speed that I call bullet dog.  Basset Hounds have a very aerodynamic shape (with the exception of our ears, of course), and when I get caught up in the scent of the neighbor’s barbecue, there is no stopping this Hound.

Like I said, it’s rare that I ever pull off “bullet dog.”  The speed that I use more than all of the aforementioned is a speed that is best described as no go.  That’s when I park my butt on the sidewalk and say “Alpha Dad, I do not want to go to the vet, and I am going to sit here and refuse to move until you give up and take me home.”

You’ve heard it here, from Sheriff Bluepaw.  Alpha Dad may think he knows everything, but he’s underestimating the Assistant Protector of Bagels Everywhere if he thinks I don’t have a few tricks of my own.


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