Posts Tagged ‘tail’

A Patient Hound

April 24, 2010

It’s Friday and as usual I am sitting on the stairway landing, staring out the window.  Technically, I am not allowed up the stairs.  But I’m not on the second floor yet, so I figure that the landing is a nice compromise.  Through the window I can see my neighbors’ front yard and the sidewalk.  I couldn’t care less about being sociable to my neighbors, but the sidewalk is of great interest to me in the evenings.

I have a powerful internal clock.  For instance, I know that exactly 9:30 p.m. I go to bed and at 12:05 a.m. I wake up for a drink of water.  I know that in exactly two minutes Alpha Dad should walk up the sidewalk.  I lay down on the landing and wait.

When I’m waiting for Alpha Dad to come home, two minutes is a very long time.  I count the seconds by thumping my tail against the wall.  One, two, three.  I lose count of the numbers- arithmetic is no interest of mine.  I’ve heard that patience is a virtue, but I know that basset hounds don’t need virtues, whatever they are.

Cat scampers down the stairs behind me.  It’s not fair- how come a fat and rude creature like Cat is allowed upstairs and I’m not?  The injustice of this all distracts me for a moment, but soon my focus is back on the sidewalk.

Sure enough, there is Alpha Dad walking up the sidewalk.  I rush down the stairs and to the back door, which I scratch with my paw until Sister Fairy lets me out.  I pounce out of the bushes just as Alpha Dad opens the gate.

“Woof!” I say, jumping on Alpha Dad.  My internal clock informs me that it is time for my a belly rub.

My Bad Day was Fur-tilizer’s Fault

April 12, 2010

Yesterday was a very very sad day because a certain hound dog (ME!) didn’t get to go to the P-A-R-K.  I whined and ran in circles and even knocked the kibble out of my dish, but Alpha Dad wouldn’t take me.  He tried to explain why I couldn’t go, and it had something to do with a funny-sounding word: “fur-tilizer.”

Today, Alpha Dad agreed to take me to the P-A-R-K.  As soon as I put my paws in the grass, I could see what he was talking about.  Fur-tilizer looks like cat excrement but it smells even yuckier.  I tried to roll in it, but I didn’t like the way it felt on my fur.  When I was done playing with the other bassets, I was really stinky- and not in a good way.

Here’s the worst part: when I got home, Alpha Dad gave me a bath!  He said that playing in fur-tilizer isn’t good for dogs or people and that it could make me sick.  The only thing worse than a bath is going to the vet, so I didn’t put up too much fuss when he poured half a bottle of “Soothing Lavender Lilac” shampoo on my back.  Even my tail got a good scrubbing.  I was cold and wet all day.

I hope that they never put fur-tilizer on the grass at the P-A-R-K ever again.  I don’t want to have to endure a bath after every trip to the P-A-R-K!  Weeds have never bothered me, but fur-tilizer sure does.

Alpha Track Dog

March 28, 2010

Once, I saw a movie about a dog who was a total loser until he joined a basketball team and BAM he was famous!  If that’s all it takes to get some attention, I should be in the newspaper for joining the girls’ track team this morning at the P-A-R-K.

I was hanging out with some of my Basset buddies this morning.  You know, sniffing together, taking power naps together.  Basset Hounds are the most dignified breed at the P-A-R-K, but sometimes they just aren’t active enough for me.  This morning, I was up for a challenge.  And then I saw just the opportunity to show the world just how speedy a Basset Hound can be!  The girls’ track team was sprinting across the park, and I sped over to give track a try.

Girls’ track is harder than it looks.  I plunged into the middle of the pack, only to have my tail stepped on with someone’s muddy shoe!  Plus, my ears aren’t very aerodynamic.  But as I discovered, I have a real talent for running downhill.  I was Alpha Speed-Demon Dog, especially when I led the pack across a pool of mud at the bottom of the hill.  (Can you believe it?  Girls don’t like to play in the mud!)

Just as we were approaching a steep hill, I thought about my Basset Hound friends who were enjoying their power nap.  Who needs up-hills, anyways?  I took a cool-down trot back to my friends and collapsed in the grass.  The way I see it, if a Hound has to run up-hill to be a celebrity, then fame is definitely not worth it.


%d bloggers like this: