Posts Tagged ‘people food’

Digging for Buried Bagel

July 22, 2011

I have to do something to impress Cassie.  She’s started walking her Alpha Mom around my town, but even though our paths cross all the time, she won’t give me the time of day!  Maybe if I gave her something really exceptional, she would realize that our relationship is simply meant to be.

Once, after I had been to the P-A-R-K with Alpha Dad, we stopped for bagels before heading home.  Bagels are a personal favorite of mine, especially when they have cream cheese on them.  (Shh!  Don’t tell Alpha Mom!)   Unfortunately, it’s a rare occasion when someone gives me a bagel.  Apparently bagels are classified as “People Food,” a term that my family uses to describe food that they don’t think dogs will like.  But they’ve got it wrong– I love People Food!  I wish my family understood that they don’t have to go through the trouble of procuring “Dog Food” for me, because I would be perfectly happy on a diet of People Food.  Ah well, life is tough.

Anyways, back to my recollections.  That day, Alpha Dad got a bagel just for me.  It was a little harder than a regular bagel, and a little smaller, too.  Plus, it smelled suspiciously like kibble.  But it was shaped like a bagel, and I figured, Hey, good enough, my family is finally coming around.  I figured I would put the bagel somewhere special, because after all, it’s not often that a hound gets the good stuff.  So I dug up a patch of grass in a cozy corner by the fence, buried my bagel, and kicked some dirt on top of it to keep it safe.

Apparently I did too good of a job hiding my treasure.  Now I’m in my backyard trying to remember where I left the tasty snack.  Oh Cassie, if only you could see how hard I’m trying.  I dig up a couple of plants, sniff around the edge of the driveway, and–

Ohmygosh I smell it, that’s it, oh gee, to the left, no, to the right, no, forward, I’m on the scent!  Oh Cassie, Cassie, Cassie I’ve got it it’s over here somewhere yes that’s the corner ahhhh the excitement is killing me!  Under the plant, under the grass, dig Woody dig dig dig!  Oh boy ohboyohboy this is it!  Yesssssss!

When Cassie sees this treasure, she won’t be able to resist.

Too Many Friends

July 19, 2010

Summer is a tough time to be a hound dog.  All of my big siblings are home and so I can’t get any beauty rest.  For instance, the other day my nap was interrupted when Brother Pooch came home late at night with a big red horn.  I think it was called a Vavuvalawawa or something like that.  And last week, someone dared to turn on the television at three in the afternoon.  Three in the afternoon!  That is definitely siesta time.

But the worst interference in my life this summer has been all of my new friends.  The other night, Sister Martian invited a whole bunch of teenagers over to my house.  For some reason, they all wanted to get me!  I don’t trust teenagers with cars.  They say they want to pet you, but they could be plotting to take you to the vet!  Some of them offered me bread, but I am a smart hound.  I did no-go until they tossed the bread right to me!  When you’re as popular as I am you can pull this stuff off.

Teenagers like to play very loud music.  It sounds kind of like a whole bunch of Vavuvalawawas all at once, with scary banging noises thrown in for good measure.  Also, teenagers never drop People Food- they eat every bite!  I guess when you’re a teenager you just ignore it when your friends do inconsiderate things like that. 

It’s really tough being a basset hound with too many people who want to pet you, but hopefully I’ll get to go to the P-A-R-K this weekend and that will make up for it!

Wabbit Food

April 3, 2010

I always beg for food under the table during dinner, and occasionally I will be rewarded afterwards with a share in the leftovers.  Tonight was one such lucky night.  My Alpha Parents placed some leftovers in my dish, and instantly my nose was twitching, trying to identify the scent.  Was it a fish skin?  No, I usually got to eat those before dinner.  Steak?  I hadn’t smelled any during the meal.  No, this was a new food.

The color was unnatural: white and shiny with a trace of blue.  I nudged it with my nose, only to find that the round object was slimy.  My room was no place to enjoy such a treasure, and I scooped it up with my mouth and walked into the kitchen.  I rolled the treat around in my mouth, still unsure as to what it was.  Was it a fruit or a vegetable?  Or perhaps something in between?

Resigning myself to the fact that I could not identify the treat, I decided that if it was People Food, it had to be delicious.  I dropped the snack onto the ground, contemplating my next obstacle: how to eat it.  Its round shape made it awkward to just take a bite out of it, because every time I tried to, the snack rolled an inch forward.  And the scent- I couldn’t get over how sharp the scent was.  It was something between mud and Cat excrement, or perhaps a combination of the two with salt on top.  With my teeth, I managed to scrape off slivers of the treat, which I nibbled up from the ground.

A surprise awaited me after I chipped off a few chunks of bluish-white slime.  A yellow sphere tumbled onto the ground.  It was slightly powdery, and it stuck to my teeth and tongue.  Sister Martian sat down next to me as I finished the remains of my leftover snack.

“Woody, are you enjoying your first Easter egg?”

I didn’t understand all of this question, but the word “Easter” prompted the word “Wabbit” in my head.  This food was associated with Wabbits?  The Easter Wabbit eats these slimy things?   I had heard that vegetables were wabbit food, but this did not appear to be a vegetable.  Perhaps the saying was wrong and wabbits ate this new food instead.  I had been lied to!

My stomach began to twist and gurgle.  Suddenly, I felt nautious.  I wandered into the living room and lay down on the floor, waiting for family movie night to begin.


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