Posts Tagged ‘no go’

Too Many Friends

July 19, 2010

Summer is a tough time to be a hound dog.  All of my big siblings are home and so I can’t get any beauty rest.  For instance, the other day my nap was interrupted when Brother Pooch came home late at night with a big red horn.  I think it was called a Vavuvalawawa or something like that.  And last week, someone dared to turn on the television at three in the afternoon.  Three in the afternoon!  That is definitely siesta time.

But the worst interference in my life this summer has been all of my new friends.  The other night, Sister Martian invited a whole bunch of teenagers over to my house.  For some reason, they all wanted to get me!  I don’t trust teenagers with cars.  They say they want to pet you, but they could be plotting to take you to the vet!  Some of them offered me bread, but I am a smart hound.  I did no-go until they tossed the bread right to me!  When you’re as popular as I am you can pull this stuff off.

Teenagers like to play very loud music.  It sounds kind of like a whole bunch of Vavuvalawawas all at once, with scary banging noises thrown in for good measure.  Also, teenagers never drop People Food- they eat every bite!  I guess when you’re a teenager you just ignore it when your friends do inconsiderate things like that. 

It’s really tough being a basset hound with too many people who want to pet you, but hopefully I’ll get to go to the P-A-R-K this weekend and that will make up for it!

W-A-L-K Expertise

March 24, 2010

Okay, so as I mentioned the other day, Alpha Dad thinks he’s really clever for spelling words that he doesn’t want me to hear.  I’ll admit, when he started calling the Park “P-A-R-K” and referring to the walk as “W-A-L-K,” I was pretty confused.  But Basset Hounds are scholarly (even though we don’t look it), so now I know to look forward to my W-A-L-K every evening.

When I’m happy to be going on a W-A-L-K, I take off down the sidewalk at a trot.  This is just a little faster than a walk.

Sometimes, I get really really excited about going on a W-A-L-K!  Like the summer when there were cicadas everywhere and life was like an endless snacktime.  Or maybe there’s a wabbit in the neighbor’s yard (look out wabbits, here I come!)  For this reason, I like to call my second-fastest speed rabbit run.

You might think that Basset Hounds are always slow and lazy, but the truth is that we’re only slow and lazy when we want to be… which means we’re almost always slow and lazy.  But on rare occasions (like when I smell a pretty Lady Hound across the street), I like to show off a speed that I call bullet dog.  Basset Hounds have a very aerodynamic shape (with the exception of our ears, of course), and when I get caught up in the scent of the neighbor’s barbecue, there is no stopping this Hound.

Like I said, it’s rare that I ever pull off “bullet dog.”  The speed that I use more than all of the aforementioned is a speed that is best described as no go.  That’s when I park my butt on the sidewalk and say “Alpha Dad, I do not want to go to the vet, and I am going to sit here and refuse to move until you give up and take me home.”

You’ve heard it here, from Sheriff Bluepaw.  Alpha Dad may think he knows everything, but he’s underestimating the Assistant Protector of Bagels Everywhere if he thinks I don’t have a few tricks of my own.

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