Posts Tagged ‘movie’

Wabbit Food

April 3, 2010

I always beg for food under the table during dinner, and occasionally I will be rewarded afterwards with a share in the leftovers.  Tonight was one such lucky night.  My Alpha Parents placed some leftovers in my dish, and instantly my nose was twitching, trying to identify the scent.  Was it a fish skin?  No, I usually got to eat those before dinner.  Steak?  I hadn’t smelled any during the meal.  No, this was a new food.

The color was unnatural: white and shiny with a trace of blue.  I nudged it with my nose, only to find that the round object was slimy.  My room was no place to enjoy such a treasure, and I scooped it up with my mouth and walked into the kitchen.  I rolled the treat around in my mouth, still unsure as to what it was.  Was it a fruit or a vegetable?  Or perhaps something in between?

Resigning myself to the fact that I could not identify the treat, I decided that if it was People Food, it had to be delicious.  I dropped the snack onto the ground, contemplating my next obstacle: how to eat it.  Its round shape made it awkward to just take a bite out of it, because every time I tried to, the snack rolled an inch forward.  And the scent- I couldn’t get over how sharp the scent was.  It was something between mud and Cat excrement, or perhaps a combination of the two with salt on top.  With my teeth, I managed to scrape off slivers of the treat, which I nibbled up from the ground.

A surprise awaited me after I chipped off a few chunks of bluish-white slime.  A yellow sphere tumbled onto the ground.  It was slightly powdery, and it stuck to my teeth and tongue.  Sister Martian sat down next to me as I finished the remains of my leftover snack.

“Woody, are you enjoying your first Easter egg?”

I didn’t understand all of this question, but the word “Easter” prompted the word “Wabbit” in my head.  This food was associated with Wabbits?  The Easter Wabbit eats these slimy things?   I had heard that vegetables were wabbit food, but this did not appear to be a vegetable.  Perhaps the saying was wrong and wabbits ate this new food instead.  I had been lied to!

My stomach began to twist and gurgle.  Suddenly, I felt nautious.  I wandered into the living room and lay down on the floor, waiting for family movie night to begin.

Family Movie Night

March 26, 2010

Friday nights are one of the best times to be a Basset Hound.  On Fridays, my whole family comes home for dinner and then we watch a movie in the Living Room.  Well, I don’t actually watch the movie, but I like to sleep in front of the television because I can always count on somebody to come over and give me a belly rub.

Whenever Alpha Dad picks the movie, we can always count on a Western.  Lots of noisy guys run around the screen on horses, disrupting my beauty sleep with their gunfighting.  But what I dislike the most about Westerns is that there are never any Bassets in them!  I suppose my fellow Hounds aren’t exactly built for the desert, but it would be nice to see Hollywood have a Hound sleeping on a porch or riding in a covered wagon.  As a true Arkansas Hound Dog, I would much rather watch a “Southern.”

Even though the movie selection is rarely good, I can always count on one of my siblings to bring Big Blue down from the attic.  Big Blue is the biggest, stinkiest, warmest sleeping bag ever!  The whole thing is coated with dog hair, and everyone knows that when Big Blue is in front of the television, it is my territory.  Sometimes, when the movie is really awful, I role over onto my back and fall asleep that way, a surefire tactic for getting a belly rub.

But the very best thing about Family Movie Night is the popcorn!  Alpha Mom makes terrific popcorn and puts a large bowl of it on the floor.  It’s like drivethrough, being able to walk by and snatch a few pieces when nobody is looking.  Once, I accidentally knocked over the bowl, and Alpha Mom attacked all of us with a monster called “Vackyoom.”  So I try not to spill the popcorn anymore.

Someday, I would like to be a Hollywood Hound.  I could have my own trailer and Milk Bones delivered to me on set.  I could star alongside  screen favorites like Winn Dixie and Marley, or maybe even Lassie!  And maybe I could be in a romance with a cute Lady Hound…


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