Posts Tagged ‘brother pooch’

Who Says Bassets Can’t Crochet?

July 8, 2011

Sometimes, it gets a little boring being a basset hound.  My family goes outside to garden, and I’m left inside with only the cat to keep me company.  (I’d rather have no company at all, she’s really bosy.)  So the other day I figured I’d take up a hobby.  After all, each person in my family has a hobby.  Brother Pooch likes to practice playing his vavuvalawawa.  Sister Fairy bakes cookies, which I am sometimes lucky enough to snatch.  Sister Martian likes to drive the car into the garage– she does it all the time, but I’ve never been able to figure out why she likes to do it so much.  Alpha Mom sings, and she’s pretty good, especially when she sings about the lion that sleeps tonight (I can sympathize!).  However, I like Alpha Dad’s hobby best of all because his hobby is giving me attention.

Anyways, I was lying in the middle of the living room with nothing to do.  And all of a sudden I noticed that there was a ball of yellow yarn on the coffee table right in front of me!  I remembered how Sister Martian was… crocheting?  Is that the word? …this morning, and I thought, “If she can do it, so can I!”  I couldn’t find that funny metal stick thing that she was using, but I figured if I just gave the yarn ball a good chewing, my teeth could be just as efficient.

As it turned out, I was really talented at this crocheting business.  Before long, I had covered the entire living room with yellow yarn!  I figured, why would an adventurous basset hound want to take on a small project when he could take on a big project?  I made sure every inch of carpet was yellow, but I still felt like my project was missing something.

And then I had the most incredible idea.  There, on the coffee table, was a blue metal object.  It looked a little bit like a computer, except that it was much smaller and instead of letters it had numbers on the keys.  But most importantly, it was shiny!  I jumped as high as I could and knocked the device onto the carpet.  I gave it a few good chomps and spread the pieces around the living room to adorn my crochet project.  I knew my family would be impressed!

Sure enough, when Sister Martian walked into the living room later that day, she stared at my creation for a really long time.  I think she was awstruck by the force of beauty before her.  And then she told our Alpha Parents to come and have a look, and they stared at my project for a really long time, too.  Before long, my entire family was standing in the living room, admiring the work of their talented hound.

Sweet Dreams

July 1, 2011

I spend lots of time sleeping, which means I also spend lots of time dreaming.  Usually I imagine I’m snatching a hot dog or a steak, but as soon as I’ve knocked it off the kitchen table I wake up.  But today I had one of the most incredible dreams ever:

I was at the P-A-R-K with Alpha Dad.  The grass was green and dewey, and I rolled in it for good measure.  There were all sorts of dogs at the P-A-R-K, and I frolicked with some golden retrievers.  When I glanced back for Alpha Dad (even in my dreams, I like to make sure that he hasn’t wandered off and gotten lost), he was deep in conversation with my friends’ Alpha Parents.  I figured he could keep himself occupied for a while, so I started to trot up the hill… and that was when I saw her.

She was the most beautiful dog in the P-A-R-K.  She was slender for a basset hound, with long tan ears that dangled gracefully to the ground.  Her tail wagged a bit when she saw me, and I waddled toward her, thrilled and petrified all at once.  She turned to look at me with her big brown eyes, and I couldn’t resist–I ran up and licked her.

Just then, her Alpha Mom called to her from across the P-A-R-K.

“Cassie!  Cassie, come!”

Cassie!  Ah, if only I could speak!  Cassie, Cassie, Cassie is her name!  My tail was wagging uncontrollably and I was drooling like crazy and then, to my horror, Cassie turned and glided obediently back to her Alpha Mom.

And then, of all the inconvenient moments to wake up, I was pulled back into reality.  Brother Pooch was trying to give me a belly rub, but all I could think about was my stunning new acquaintance.

Too Many Friends

July 19, 2010

Summer is a tough time to be a hound dog.  All of my big siblings are home and so I can’t get any beauty rest.  For instance, the other day my nap was interrupted when Brother Pooch came home late at night with a big red horn.  I think it was called a Vavuvalawawa or something like that.  And last week, someone dared to turn on the television at three in the afternoon.  Three in the afternoon!  That is definitely siesta time.

But the worst interference in my life this summer has been all of my new friends.  The other night, Sister Martian invited a whole bunch of teenagers over to my house.  For some reason, they all wanted to get me!  I don’t trust teenagers with cars.  They say they want to pet you, but they could be plotting to take you to the vet!  Some of them offered me bread, but I am a smart hound.  I did no-go until they tossed the bread right to me!  When you’re as popular as I am you can pull this stuff off.

Teenagers like to play very loud music.  It sounds kind of like a whole bunch of Vavuvalawawas all at once, with scary banging noises thrown in for good measure.  Also, teenagers never drop People Food- they eat every bite!  I guess when you’re a teenager you just ignore it when your friends do inconsiderate things like that. 

It’s really tough being a basset hound with too many people who want to pet you, but hopefully I’ll get to go to the P-A-R-K this weekend and that will make up for it!

Welcome Home, Brother Pooch

March 24, 2010

It has been a stressful day.  Alpha Mom woke me up early to go outside, which meant that I only got fourteen hours of sleep last night.  When I helped clean up the kitchen table after lunch, the only snack that I could find was a grape.  Seriously, what Basset Hound wants to eat fruit?  Bread and meat are delicioius, but fruits and vegetables are absolutely vile.  Finally, Brother Pooch was playing Outside the Fence all day, so there was no one at home to give me a belly rub.

Brother Pooch can be irritating sometimes.  He eats all the steak off his plate (no leftovers for me 😦 ) and once he had a friend over who stepped on my tail.  But when a Hound Dog gets lonely, there is no substitute for my Brother Pooch.  I’ve heard Alpha Dad refer to Brother Pooch as “half-Hound,” but since Bassets don’t waste time with fractions, I have absolutely no idea what a “half-Hound” is.

I spent all day with my nose between two slats of wood in the fence, waiting for Brother Pooch to walk up the driveway.  At last, I saw a boy walking toward the house.  I pushed my nose as far as it would go between the slats, trying to get a closer look to see if Brother Pooch was really coming home at last!  Sure enough, it was him!!!

Whenever someone enters My Backyard, I like to hide behind the bushes beside the driveway.  Then, when whoever it is opens the fence, I jump out from beween two of the bushes and greet them.  You can call me “Guardian of the Fence.”  When I saw Brother Pooch walking toward the house, I wanted to run behind the bushes before he could see me.  But there was one problem: my nose was stuck in the fence!

I squirmed and tugged and just as Brother Pooch was walking up the driveway, I managed to dislodge my nose.  With incredible Bullet Dog speed I plunged into the bushes.  Brother Pooch swung open the fence.  Just as I was about to jump out from the bushes and greet him with a surprise, Brother Pooch bent over the bushes and looked me straight in the eye.

“Busted!”


%d bloggers like this: