Posts Tagged ‘bagel’

Heartbroken Hound

July 29, 2011

When Alpha Dad woke me up this morning and asked if I wanted to go to the P-A-R-K this morning, I leapt out of bed and ran straight for the shoe bin.  I’ve been a good boy– I’ve kept the bagel that I’ve been saving for Cassie there all week, and only licked it a couple of times.  I conceal the bagel in my closed mouth so that Alpha Dad won’t see it, and follow him out to the car.

We arrive at the P-A-R-K just as the “No Dogs Allowed” time begins, but I can’t read and neither can the other dogs.  Besides, I’ve never been much of a rules person.  Across the parking lot I spot Cassie walking with her Alpha Mom.  Her Alpha Mom is carrying a frisbie!  Ordinarily, I would rush over to sniff it, but my mouth is too full of bagel to do so today.  Instead, I walk slowly across the parking lot, doing my best to come off as a dignified gentleman.

“Wff!” I attempt to greet Cassie, but it comes out a little muffled.  Cassie doesn’t seem to hear me.  I begin to wabbit run across the parking lot.  I simply can’t contain myself any longer!  I roll dramatically to a stop in front of Cassie and drop the bagel at her feet.  “Woof!” I announce triumphantly.

Cassie eyes the dripping bagel cautiously.  She gives it a little sniff.  C’mon Cassie, pick it up, it’s for you!

“Cassie, come!” orders Cassie’s Alpha Mom.  I’m starting to think that Cassie’s Mom is the Alpha Mom of all Alpha Moms.

Cassie pushes the bagel back toward me with her paw.  “Woof,” she says softly.  Thanks, kid, but I don’t want your doggy bagel.

I sit in the grass, dumbfounded.  Suddenly, I’ve lost my appetite for the bagel.  I watch Cassie and her Alpha Mom proceed through the dewey grass.  I want to take a nap right there by the parking lot, but Alpha Dad is calling me.  I turn to glance at Alpha Dad just in time to see a huge great dane jump over me!

“Arroof!”  Hey, buddy, who do you think you are?  I’m trying to catch some zzzz’s here!  The great dane ignores me, and I watch, horrified, as he runs straight toward Cassie.  “Ahhrooo!” I howl, Look out, Cassie!  But the great dane slows down when he reaches her.  He greets Cassie’s Alpha Mom, who scratches him behind one of his ears.  And then he gives Cassie a gentle nuzzle.  She licks him back.

I can’t believe this.

And this is not over.

Digging for Buried Bagel

July 22, 2011

I have to do something to impress Cassie.  She’s started walking her Alpha Mom around my town, but even though our paths cross all the time, she won’t give me the time of day!  Maybe if I gave her something really exceptional, she would realize that our relationship is simply meant to be.

Once, after I had been to the P-A-R-K with Alpha Dad, we stopped for bagels before heading home.  Bagels are a personal favorite of mine, especially when they have cream cheese on them.  (Shh!  Don’t tell Alpha Mom!)   Unfortunately, it’s a rare occasion when someone gives me a bagel.  Apparently bagels are classified as “People Food,” a term that my family uses to describe food that they don’t think dogs will like.  But they’ve got it wrong– I love People Food!  I wish my family understood that they don’t have to go through the trouble of procuring “Dog Food” for me, because I would be perfectly happy on a diet of People Food.  Ah well, life is tough.

Anyways, back to my recollections.  That day, Alpha Dad got a bagel just for me.  It was a little harder than a regular bagel, and a little smaller, too.  Plus, it smelled suspiciously like kibble.  But it was shaped like a bagel, and I figured, Hey, good enough, my family is finally coming around.  I figured I would put the bagel somewhere special, because after all, it’s not often that a hound gets the good stuff.  So I dug up a patch of grass in a cozy corner by the fence, buried my bagel, and kicked some dirt on top of it to keep it safe.

Apparently I did too good of a job hiding my treasure.  Now I’m in my backyard trying to remember where I left the tasty snack.  Oh Cassie, if only you could see how hard I’m trying.  I dig up a couple of plants, sniff around the edge of the driveway, and–

Ohmygosh I smell it, that’s it, oh gee, to the left, no, to the right, no, forward, I’m on the scent!  Oh Cassie, Cassie, Cassie I’ve got it it’s over here somewhere yes that’s the corner ahhhh the excitement is killing me!  Under the plant, under the grass, dig Woody dig dig dig!  Oh boy ohboyohboy this is it!  Yesssssss!

When Cassie sees this treasure, she won’t be able to resist.

Spring Break Woes

April 1, 2010

Today, I was hoping to get some beauty rest as usual while my siblings were at school.  Unfortunately for me, their spring break has begun, which is anything but a break for a basset hound who requires 22 hours of sleep per night!  Brother Pooch, Sister Martian, and Sister Fairy were all home today and kept me awake with their activities.

Around nine in the morning, all of my siblings came downstairs for breakfast.  I don’t have an alarm clock by my dog bed, but the toaster is just as efficient.  I was so groggy that I didn’t even want a bagel!  Then, my siblings turned on the television to watch game shows.  All of that clapping and the bright lights that illuminate the living room are enough to drive a hound dog crazy!

I tried to go back to my bed to escape the noise, only to find Cat sleeping there.  I walked right up to her and prodded her with my nose, but that Cat just rolled onto her back as though she were waiting for me to give her a belly rub!  Eventually, Cat took the hint and left, but now my bed reeks of Cat.  I even found a whisker lying there.  Yuck!

Brother Pooch was talking to me about Easter while he scratched behind my ears this afternoon.  I didn’t understand much of what he said, except for something about a bunny, which I know is synonymous with WABBIT!  A real-life WABBIT in the house- I can’t wait!  That’s going to be the best game of Chase ever!!!

Operation Bagel Snatcher

March 23, 2010

Alpha Mom is an excellent cook, but she doesn’t make dinner until Alpha Dad gets home.  I know what you’re thinking.  Every hound should have a snack after a long day’s snooze, right?  Tell that to Alpha Mom.  Sometimes a Hound Dog just has to take things into his own hands.  Thankfully, Sister Martian left a bagel (!!!) unattended on the table.

Sister Martian is the Protector of Bagels Everywhere.  In my house, it is a well-known rule, When The Bagel Supply Is Low, Thou Shalt Not Touch The Bagels.  As a Basset Hound, reading has never been a priority for me.  That’s not to say that I couldn’t be a scholar if I wanted to be, rather, I simply have no interest in all those squigglies on the page.  The bottom line is, I missed the Don’t Touch the Bagel Memo.  Besides, as Sheriff Woody I figure it’s alright if I call myself “Assistant Protector of Bagels Everywhere.”  Just to make everything official, I quickly named my mission “Operation Bagel Snatcher.”

So there’s the bagel, sitting on the table, right in front of a Hungry Hound’s nose.  Just one whiff, and I could practically taste the lightly toasted blueberry delicacy, generously painted with plain cream cheese.  I looked to the left… to the right… Sister Martian was nowhere to be seen!  I was sure she wouldn’t notice if I just took one bite.  I hopped up onto a chair, and then onto the table, and gulped down the bagel.

Suddenly, Sister Martian came running up behind me and tackled me, dragging me down to the floor and into an unwanted hug.  I would have gladly accepted a belly rub if it weren’t for the bagel crumbs that I knew were feeling lonely on top of the table.  As the Assistant Protector of Bagels Everywhere, I knew I couldn’t just leave them behind!  I bolted and made a beeline for the table, but Sister Martian tackled me again and I found myself being carried outside of the house.

Despite my frustration at the failure of Operation Bagel Snatcher, I might have gotten over it if it weren’t for what happened next.  Before my eyes, Cat leaped onto the table, all twenty pounds of her swinging back and forth as she strutted over to my bagel crumbs.  I scratched at the door, hoping that someone would help me stop this Cat in her Crime Against Bagels Everywhere, but nobody would let me inside!

I might have been moping outside all day, but then I saw a WABBIT and I was off and running…


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