Archive for May, 2010

Hounds of All Shapes and Sizes

May 16, 2010

Earlier today, Alpha Dad took me for a short walk.  I had been complaining all morning about the injustice of his not taking me to the P-A-R-K, and I suppose he felt guilty when he agreed to take me around the block.

I have lots of doggie friends who live near my house.  Okay, they aren’t all my friends.  Like the german shepherd who thinks she is so much more intelligent than the rest of us (and probably is), and the poodle who barks and yips and scares me half to death every time I walk past.  And she always smells like peaches ‘n cream.

I always look forward to seeing my friends, the golden retrievers.  I’m not sure what sort of golden I prefer- the puppies because they’re more my size, or the adults because they don’t jump all over me.  Alpha Dad always says that golden retrievers are the nicest dogs at the P-A-R-K.  Clearly, he is not taking basset hounds into account.

My perspective on beagles is neutral.  They are loud and obnoxious, and they aren’t as handsome as basset hounds.  They’re inferior knock-offs of distinguished hounds like myself.  That being said, I’ve heard that when others copy you it’s best to take it as a complement.  I suppose that since there are so many beagles running around town, they must think quite highly of me.

Digging for Treasure: Teen Sister Edition

May 8, 2010

I was home alone.  I was bored.  And Sister Martian’s backpack was so tempting…

At first, I was enchanted by the smell.  It was a delightful blend of a half-eaten turkey sandwich and the zing of soda.  The backpack was unzipped, and I figured that it was my responsibility as Sheriff Bluepaw and the Assistant Protector of Bagels Everywhere to investigate. 

As I discovered, backpacks of teenagers are treasure troves for basset hounds.  Within seconds I had uncovered a blue rectangle with a screen and lots of buttons (which I later learned was called a “cal-Q-later”), as well as a few sheets of paper with scribbles all over them.  I gnawed on the cal-Q-later for a while, but soon realized that the paper with scribbles was much tastier and I demolished that instead.  I finished off my snack with the remains of the turkey sandwich that I found rotting beneath some books.

For some reason, Sister Martian was pretty irritated with me that evening.  She was up really late making funny-looking scribbles on a piece of paper.  (Personally, I think she would have been better off getting some beauty rest, an activity that I have found quite rewarding.)  And you won’t believe this: even though investigating her backpack had been my duty as a loyal basset hound, she was upset with me for eating something that I have never heard of- an “essay-due-tomorrow!”

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